Peng Peng's Episodes

Peng peng just returned from a cruise trip with her aunt, uncle, cousins, and their kids. After investing four precious days of her life on the giant boat, she decided a special episode should be written to entertain her friends. Like any other stories titled with “Titanic", this one ought to be a disaster.

Even you don’t like the movie Titanic, you would probably still bear that little fantasy about cruise thanks to those misleading commercials: breeze on the deck, fancy dinning, casino, all kinds of exercise facilities, big pools, fun shopping, plus unexpected romance——-. In a word, “boat people" enjoy their life much more than “ground people". Boat people don’t work. They just wake up, have fun, occasionally fall in love and sleep. Just get on that giant boat, we call it cruise here, your life will have different meaning.

Peng-peng had always been very curious about boat people, so she soon accepted her cousin’s invitation of a cruise trip. On the other hand, the dear husband, shao po, insisted of being a decent ground people from the very first second. Still, she was determined to GO. She can live without him for four days. Especially on cruise, who needs a husband?

Day 1:People wore shorts, scandals, Hawaiian shirts, and special smile you can only see on vacation. This cruise is hosting 1800 people with the crew of 600. It is like putting the whole Tsing-Hua University on a boat campus.

Everyone was so excited to explore. Peng peng found everything 70% less in scale of her imagination. Shopping area is like a 7-11; the pool about five times the size of her bath tub at home. The exercise room gets crowded with 10 people there. And the whole cruise is decorated with casino setting that isn’t particularly her favorite taste. However, on the top deck, the breeze from the ocean will set her free; take a deep breath, it is too late to regret. Try to see the positive side. That is one of her strong points.

Day 2: The cruise stopped at an island, Catalina that seems to her existing only for boat people. Going ashore raised peng peng’s hope of this adventure. Instead of ordinary cars, people drive golf cars on this island. They rented one and, within one and half hour, the car has circled that “scenic drive" twice. Like an amusement park with only one kind of ride, you got fed up doing the second run. Before noon, everybody, at least her families, was dying to go back.

After lunch, peng peng’s life had once narrowed down to 6 options: I. Swim in the extra-large tub. II. Watch TV in the room. III. Read books on the deck. IV. Watch four kinds of human beings: kids, teenagers, parents, and crewman who service the above. V. Watch the blue lonely ocean. VI. Close my eyes and stop any brain activity. Fall asleep.

Let’s try our first choice. Second day on the cruise, at least you should pretend you are having some fun. Changing to her swimming suite and remembering the promise to have her tummy flat after the trip, peng peng headed to the swimming pool with her niece J. The moment she dived into the water, the option list got shorter. It is salt water, saltier than the chicken noodle soup. Peng peng like swimming but not enough to make herself marinated with salt. Sorry, two ladies headed back to their room.

Next on the list. Nothing is easier than watching TV for kids grow up in the States. My nephew F joined us for he figured out not much he could do either. So J, F, and P comfortably laid down on the bed and conduct a general channel survey. Now it reminded them that they are boat people. In the middle of the sea, signals are weak. There are two channels repeating cruise commercials and videos of all sorts of fun games; one playing movies we can hardly gather our interest; then all other channels playing ZZZZZzzz noise signals. No news. No sit-com.

As you can imagine, J stick to the channel playing “fun games". Since hard to receive regular TV program, it is the way cruise producing its own TV show. Video tape all the activities on cruise and play it the next day——on cruise. (If George W. Bush would like to win the votes, this is the way to try. Brain wash can be easier to reinforce on cruise.)

The so called “fun games" include kid talent show, adult talent show, hairy man contest, and party for teenagers. J enjoyed the teenager party video for she is one year younger to fall into that group. Not until then, did Peng peng realize she is not young anymore for she found those games extremely meaningless. It is a sad conclusion, afterall. She watched the video and questioned herself: maybe, mabye she would have enjoyed the cruise if she was 15 years younger, having all her high school pals with her plus boys from the male high school of the same town. It is hard to imagine how sentimental she could get————–

The video would repeat itself 24 hours until the next day. Before J started 5th times and someone became crazy, Peng felt the urge to go out. Anywhere but the room with a TV playing “fun games". Remember, the top deck is always her salvation! Go up, up, and up.

There ought to be a place which can accommodate this poor soul. It can’t be mistaken, this is the place. She overlooked the ocean and read the book. Blue sky, deep ocean, warm sunshine, cool breeze, and short stories by Murakami. Not bad at all. Peace finally arrived.

Somehow her luck experienced tremendous challenge on cruise. Before finishing one short story (sorry, peng peng is a very slow reader), the “background" music started. Two huge speakers behind peng peng delivered the voice from heaven: these days, you can hardly go anywhere without Celine Dion. Yes, Celine will follow you from the land to the ocean. It’s that Titanic music. What can you expect to hear at this very special moment? Peng peng removed her sight from the page, right in front of her is the exact spot Jack holding Rose (Ross?). ———-On cruise, anyone can fall in love with anyone, she thought. Jack with Rose. Mary with John. Peng peng with Phil Collins. Even Mariah Carey. You name it. She does not care anymore.

Day 3. The destination this morning is Ensenada, a city looks boring at first sight, at last sight, and in between. Mexico is a culturally rich country but, for some reason, this specific city does not display the best of the country. It is kind of industrial port. During the city tour, peng peng kept thinking of Tsai Ming Liang, a great Taiwanese filmmaker who gives meaning to the least interesting thing. Ensenada can be Tsai’s next challenge.

For the rest of day, see Day2.

Day 4. Boat people were not getting anywhere today; the cruise had to head back. The thought of last day on cruise made peng peng slightly excited. She made a decision to stay at a widow seat and read Murakami whole day. Once a while, she got up and joined some family activities like watching ice carving, tour to the kitchen, how to fold napkin, and so on.

Peng peng has always enjoyed Murakami’s writing. For the past three days, she survived on his words. To some point, she even flipped back to the title page and studied the tiny picture of the author. You will never expect so much wit from a plain-look man, who can be anyone, anyone on the street, or anyone, anyone on the cruise. Looking at people around, kids, teenagers, parents, crewman, everything started making more sense. Power of literature!

To be fair, peng peng did enjoy certain moments on cruise. For example, the food is pretty good. Imagine, on this cruise, there are hundreds of people dedicated only to prepare and serve food for the guests, all that devotion. But instead of food, peng peng’s most memorable moment has something to do with wine. Without any hesitation, the waiter automatically pass F, J and peng peng while he was serving wine. Of course, the family members spoke up for peng peng. The waiter said no alcohol for people under 18 (please note, not 21). “Are you 18?" He questioned me with the same tone a day-care teacher use. “No, I am NOT 18, I am 32." Then you heard the big laugh from my families and the waiter’s face got frozen. Peng peng did not blame him (why should she), giving that dim light, a person working on cruise for six months can certainly lose his sense of judgement. She forgave him.

Day 5. Peng peng felt like she had been waiting this moment for all her life. 9:00 am, time to leave the cruise and become “ground people" again. She is probably not the only one who missed the land. Boat people started gathering at the gate around 8am like those on Titanic waiting for the lifeboat. “We will be rescued!" you can tell from their expression. Definitely there are people who seem to be very satisfied about the trip. According to peng peng’s observation, those people are happier by nature.

As expected, the schedule had been delayed. They waited and waited. F and J had used up all the patience accumulated in the lifetime. At this very delicate moment, my cousin brought up the conversation of cruise trips to other destination. F found his father incredible and said “Dad, don’t even think about it."

Obviously recycled patience couldn’t last long. There is very little chance to make a person stay if he or she is so determined to leave. This family decided themselves to get off without following the instruction. It suddenly occurred to peng peng, 50 years ago, that same kind of courage must have supported her aunt and uncle fled to Taiwan (from Mainland China).

As soon as peng peng arrived LA airport, she made a phone call to shao po and declared her freedom. Never once in a trip, she felt missing her husband so much. She almost promised him not to tease anybody anymore and she will try to be a nice decent normal ground people.

The End. (Here comes again Celine’s heavenly voice———)

Peng peng