Peng Peng's Episodes

A lovely Swiss lady, one of my most faithful readers, was very surprised to learn that the story about my husband’s Miata model building is a true one. Here I have to clarify that I am not creative enough to make up such a horrible joke (actually all my jokes are based on the true stories, unfortunately). One thing I can’t figure out is why my story would sound unbelievable to this lovely lady if her husband is still playing LEGO. Anyone who knows shao po well would have a clear picture in their minds (it does not take much imagination) while reading the previous episode. Some of them have already witnessed those painted parts hidden under the chair. Shao po just won’t compromise and still keep repeating process 4 and 5. It seems to me my joke does not place any pressure on him at all. —————-

A lot of people have already seriously planned how they are going to spend the next New Year (Y2K). I haven’t. But I am going to write down the lessons learned from Last Xmas before I forgot them.

Shao po is working for a small but fast-growing company in Santa Clara. They have about 10-15 female employees at this moment. Gone to male high school, engineering college and graduate school, believe or not, my husband has never worked with so “many" women since he was fifteen. Therefore, he pays a lot more attention and is really concerned about his own look now. It is nothing unusual for those Silicon Valley engineers to wear T-shirt and jeans all year round. So the company Xmas party, the only chance to dress up (and show off their masculine charm), is certainly a BIG deal.

December 20th, 1998! What a memorable day for the Bay Area got its first snow since 1960s. The cold cold weather brought not only rare snow but also shao po’s rare enthusiasm of getting himself appropriate outfits. At such low temperature, his suit definitely needs an overcoat to go with. I can tell he is really desperate bcs, in a regular case, he would “automatically" get a headache after five minutes of shopping ( Have you seen those expressionless husbands sitting on the sofas in Ann Taylor? Somehow they always remind me of those poor cats and dogs in the animal shelter waiting to be adopted. I know that feeling for I have been to Fry’s.) but that day we spent the whole afternoon in the shopping center. Soon I realize finding a perfect overcoat (36R) for him is nothing easier than finding a nice pair of high heels for myself. Finally, we gave up! I tried to cheer him up by telling him how handsome he will look in his suit with that nice tie and nobody is going to notice if he has an overcoat or not.

Wait a minute—-Tie!

TIE! Where have I kept that instruction sheet of making a tie knot? We have never needed it since we moved. It must be lost. God! Now we really panic. We even drove by E’s apartment and hoped this tasteful dresser can help us.——- Of course, your friends are always away when you really need them. E was not home. Whom can we turn to? Not much time left. I don’t think it is a good idea to knock my landlord’s door and ask him this silly question (he might raise the rent after that). We thought of calling E on his mobile phone but eventually shao po decided it is too embarrassed to ask such a question on the phone———-As soon as we arrived home, I pulled out the tie and tried to use my intelligence to figure out how to tie a knot—- without success. Shao po tried the same thing and failed.

Before this disaster turned into a domestic argument, the smart wife turned on the computer and hoped to find some clues through Internet. Search “necktie" and then there were all these financial reports and stock information on the necktie manufacturers. (I prayed to my God. Please! Just give me a simple, straightforward instruction about tie knot that a thirty-year-old man can read and understand, Yahoo.) Then the miracle occurred when I found this “Learn2.com" with a quote “devoted to things you might be too chicken to ask about." That was exactly what I needed. It took less than a minute to find the page of “Learn2 Tie a Necktie" and have it printed out. Another 5 min for shao po to read and make a knot—–but not a perfect knot. He kept asking me if the knot is symmetrical. I said yes and, of course, he doesn’t trust me. So he spent another 20 minutes working on his tiny knot and tried to make it “more" symmetrical (I don’t really know what “more symmetrical" means. It does not make much sense to me.)

Eventually we managed to leave with our semi-perfect outfits and arrived a bit late. My husband did look pretty good with that very very symmetrical tie knot. I guessed he enjoyed the party without worrying too much about overcoat issue for he even danced for the first time in his life.

I appreciated this Learn2.com so much and revisited it weeks ago. They have a top ten list of most popular topics. I was so curious about what people are eager to know but dare not to ask others. Guess what I discovered: “Learn2 tie a necktie" is on the top of the list. Yes, No. 1. Shao po, you are not alone.

** Shao po had finished building his fake Miata yesterday. Now it is displayed in our living room and open to public 7pm-9pm daily. Free admission. I will soon put a sign “Do Not Touch Please" in front of it.

Peng peng